ok. no soapboxes this evening.  emma had a dance clinic saturday and if you can be the best at shaking your butt around, she was it.  so cute.  and retarded, but still pretty cute.  lollipop!

she will be dancing at the basketball game this friday, i am excited to go watch and leave the boys with mom.  i have been such a witch lately, and the boys are responding to it by being extra naughty.  i caught alex with a tube of spree sticking out of his pocket at country mart, zach stole my nook and hid it under the dresser in my bedroom, and sawyer throws himself backwards when he doesn't get his way.  thunk!  on the kitchen tile.  thunk! off the wall or couch.  you'd think he'd learn, but after he hits his head, he always looks surprised and then pissed.  at me.  like i did it to him.  whatev.

after a day of listening to zach complain that he's not having any fun, can we go somewhere, we never do anything fun...and listening to sawyer scream because he wants whatever zach has in his hands, well, i'm back to daydreaming of running off into the sunset.  alone.

i love my new nook!  troy bought it for an early valentine's, and so far so good.  the screen froze on me today but other than that no problems.  i have found some free books and am addicted to angry birds.  that damn green guy better stop grinning at me.

i am going to wrap this up with a cute pic of the boys taken when i wasn't screaming at them.

although i'm sure i was soon after i snapped it.  and here's our bad ass cat indy:

sunflowers are best!

we got this sweet postcard in the mail the other day.  troy brought it inside and handed it to me.  here's what it said:

so i'm reading it aloud, and when i got to the sentence "i like the bud a lot too" i just started laughing!  and troy gave me a stern look, but i couldn't help myself.  and then, i realized alex was watching, and he started saying "i like the bud a lot too!" because it was making me laugh!  oh my gosh.  so funny.  not really appropriate, but still, so funny.

today emma went to a dance clinic, and shook her butt like nobody's business!  it was so stinking cute!  friday night i'll take her to the basketball game and they'll perform at halftime.  we went to play with cousins afterwards, and had dinner at jeff & amy's.  their huge dog hank was leaning against my leg, almost pushing me over(he's a bull mastiff and enormous!)  when i got home, einstein was crazy jealous, sniffing my leg and following me around.  so funny!

earlier tonight my MIL was talking about some family she knows where the mom was a "dopehead" and the dad was all "drugged out" and she said "i think a lot of people just think oh, it's just marijuana, it's no big deal, but then why is it illegal?!" and i couldn't help it, i said "because the alcohol and tobacco industries wanted it that way" and she gave me the strangest look.  le sigh. 

but i did refrain from getting into a discussion about decriminalizing and regulating marijuana and hemp farming as a way to reduce the nation's debt.  and how our founding fathers had hemp AND tobacco farms.  or that the paintings of Rembrandt and Vincent Van Gogh were painted primarily on hemp canvas, often with hemp oil based paint.  in the 1930's a lot of rich folks (dupont, hearst) made changes to the laws to ensure they continued to get rich - and that needs to change.  if they can put rendered beaver anal gland in my vanilla ice cream, why should this plant be illegal?  they are both "all natural"...

sick

apparently, getting influenza causes my inner bitch to be unleashed.  after sleeping, shivering and coughing my way through thursday and friday, i went to the walk in clinic sat morning.  mom met me up there to watch the kids while i saw the doctor.  so i sat, freezing, in the waiting room wearing a turtleneck, coat, boots, scarf, hat, AND gloves for an hour. 

then i began sweating, & crying, and had used up two boxes of their kleenex.  and i started getting really mad when people i saw come in after me were being called back.  i had already been up to the window once, and was told first come first serve.  but after a lady who had commiserated with me - even said "i know you've been waiting a long time, you were here when i got here" was called back - and didn't even say anything like, "um, she was here first?" i exploded at the desk.  the memory of my whining voice still haunts me.  so embarrassing.  they said i was next.  i said forget it and stormed out.  climbed in my van and was telling mom what happened when i had a coughing attack so bad i peed myself.  bless my mom, she went back inside and asked them to still see me. 

and they did.  and they were so nice.  and i apologized to everyone in sight for my tantrum.  and they stick a swab up my nose - the nurse told me not to hit her - and shut the lights off and had me lay down while they ran the test.  yep, the flu.  duh.  well, the tamiflu and cough suppressant they gave me doesn't seem to be doing much.  i'm not as tired as i was, but i'm still hacking away. 

and this morning sawyer woke up with 102* fever and cough.  i went to the clinic and they luckily got us right back - no tantrums, phew.  stuck a swab up his nose, and yep.  more flu.  he's on tamiflu now and slept all day.  the boys are coughing a little too. 

and i feel like punching something.  i am filled with rage, and i don't know why.  i screamed at the kids because they made a mess in the family room.  i sorta hate myself right now!!  i wish i could go to sleep, wake up, and this would be just a nightmare.  and that i could stop crying.  and peeing myself.  :(

let's get ready to RUMBLE!!

today was wrestling at burlington - aj's 2nd and emma's 1st tournament!  i wasn't planning to go, but troy had to work the night before.  they had to be there to weigh in before 8am.  bert rode over with me, we almost ran out of gas, and i was a nervous wreck before we even got there.   troy met us in the parking lot and saved the day.  he got them signed in and where they needed to be.

 zach found hunter and followed him around all morning.

mom and dad go there just in time for the matches to start, and the fun began! 

aj wrestled first. this was the first time i've ever gotten to watch him. 

i thought he did awesome - but i don't really know anything about it.  what's that ref doing?  is that good?  does that mean points for or against?

but he was so focused and determined and i was so proud!  he won that match. 

emma was up next, against another little girl, and they were so polite and gentle.  it was emma's 1st match, and i'm glad it was an easy one.  she won that one. 

troy had to leave to go get some sleep, and bert went with him to take sawyer and zach home, which was a relief.  my back was killing me from carrying him around, and it was too busy to let him run free.  he would have ended up in the middle of one of the mats!  mom and dad headed out too, and the rest of the day it was just me, emma, and alex.  they hung out in the bleachers with the other kids, mooching off of other people's ds's and headphones.  we seriously should buy our kids some toys of their own. 

the next match was pretty rough on her.  the boy was a good wrestler, and he just got the better of her.  she started to cry a little but didn't give up.  she was madder that she cried than that she got beat.  she knew troy didn't want to see tears, but the kid kept stuffing her face into the mat!  luckily she had a longer break between it and her last match.  she won that one, and placed 2nd.  woo hoo!

aj lost two and won two, and ended up placing 4th in his bracket.  :)  medals for both!

***i'll keep trying to add the video here***

he got pushed around pretty good by this kid, harding, from SEK.  afterwards he told me the kid was trying to choke him - to DEATH!  he kept coughing and was upset and crying but still had a great attitude.  the boy who won, ended up winning the bracket.  i think.  i'm still not sure what was going on.  but he was a tough little guy, that's for sure.  and alex wore him out - it wasn't an easy win.

oh - and where did this crazy sports mom attitude come from?  i was all "KILLKILLKILL" when the kids were wrestling!  grrr!  get em, nobody better touch my babies!  maybe i don't want the video on here after all...

all in all, a fun day.  probably would have been better if i had gotten some sleep saturday night.  but i can sleep when i'm dead, right?  at least, i hope.  otherwise, death's gonna suck.

bringing the pain

well, after finding out today that some people do still read this little blog, i will try to do better about updating it!  :D

alex turned 6 on the 6th!  he's getting so grown up!  he wanted a mario cake but didn't tell me that until that morning, before school.  i threw one together, and he really liked it, even though it was a train wreck of a cake!  after school the crane's came over and they walked the timber trying to flush a deer out.  then he played wii with hunter and later kirby came down to watch them while troy & i went to a party.  he seemed to enjoy his birthday!

we went to the movies saturday to see the chipmunks movie, and then...

he had his first wrestling tournament in bonner springs last sunday, and he took 4th! which i thought was pretty cool for it being his first time.  emma and alex both are wrestling at burlington tomorrow, and troy is working so i will be taking all the kids along, fun fun!  bert's going with me and mom & dad are coming, so hopefully we can keep an eye on all four of them and get the little wrestlers where they need to be.  troy will get off work at 7am and meet us there, but he'll have to leave and catch a nap before going back in for the night shift.

emma's excited about tomorrow - but i hope it doesn't overwhelm her.  she's pretty good at practice, but she gets upset when someone is overly aggressive.  i understand how she's feeling, but i hope she can keep it together and get mad and go get em!  she told me she was going to bring the pain.   too funny!

oh my, speaking of funny.  tonight i listened to alex and zach argue over whether justin "beaver" was a girl or a boy.  zach says girl.  

merry christmas

christmas has come and gone for another year!  well, not really.  tom & trav will be in town tuesday, so we have a couple more days of guilt free eating and gifts. 

the kids seem pretty happy with their presents.  emma got squinkies, a guitar and harmonica. i broke one of the strings trying to tighten them.  zach got a new leapster to replace the one that got crushed under his bed, and a ball glove. 

alex got an official red ryder "baby" gun.  (that's what zach calls it)  and an mp3 player for the bus.

and sawyer?  well, he got a gyro bowl and a toy we stole from troy's mom's toy box last night.  because there was absolutely nothing that we don't already have.  troy and i opted to forgo gifts this year, but are planning a night away for dinner and romance.  hubba hubba.''

mom and dad came over for lunch, and brought ham and rolls and nana's fruit salad.  nana was going to come, but sawyer, troy & i all have colds, and she didn't want to catch it.  sawyer sounds the worst, his cough is pretty ugly.  but he's happy and active and eating like a horse, so we're just watching it.  

christmas eve we had dinner at bert's, and it was awesome.  homemade rolls, breaded pork cutlets, mashed potatoes, corn, and apple pie for dessert!  and then we played the game, and i won a gun!  yes.  really.  i'm kind of excited about it, i'm hoping troy will show me how to shoot it tomorrow.  troy won a bunch of tools and stuff, and other things i'm too tired to remember right now.

anyways, hope you had a merry christmas, and enjoyed yourselves!

countdown to christmas

we are coming up on christmas break, and that means another busy week of things to do!  today was joy's cookie exchange, tonight we went to crane's for a party and tomorrow is schaffer family christmas in kc.  tuesday zach has his preschool program, i can't wait!  and wednesday the kids have parties at school, and then they are out for the year!  yay!  thursday emma's having a slumber party with her cousins, sat we'll go to bert's and sunday we get to lounge at home.  i can't wait. 

sawyer has changed so much the past few weeks.  he finally figure out how to climb up on the bar stools in the kitchen, and from that moment on, he's refused to use the high chair.  he eats his meals at the island like the other kids, thank you very much.  he also doesn't want a sippy cup, although he will still use one.  but at meals, he has to have one of the plastic cups like the big kids have.  i have to say, i'm not ready for this independence.  i should be, but it makes me sad.

speaking of sad, i had a sonogram friday, and seeing one without a baby in it?  sad.  it looks so empty.  i actually found myself tearing up, and turned my head to stop looking at it.  only there was a poster of a teeny baby on the wall.  not helping.  ugh.  anyways, no large tumors or anything crazy, just waiting on test results from a biopsy that say everything is normal.  which i'm sure they are.  lots of hoops to jump through for legal/insurance stuff so i can get a procedure done that i've been asking for since i had sawyer.  but it looks like it will finally happen.

troy has been cutting lots of wood and got a water tank for our cellar.  the project is sort of on hold until spring at this point, but at least we've gotten this far.  hopefully, after christmas, we can put up some walls for bedrooms, and then the boys will stop driving each other crazy at bedtime.  and troy and i can reclaim our room from lumpy.  and we will have two more closets, each kid will have their own, it will be awesome! 

hohoho!

the greeley christmas program was thursday night, and the kids did such a great job!  it was a "musical", and they did the motions and sang their hearts out!  they dressed like carolers and a few older kids were santa and elves.  zach was sitting with us, singing all the songs, since they've been practicing around the house.  afterwards, they got to see santa.  zach was at the head of the line, but got nervous and didn't want to sit on santa's lap.  he just wanted to say hi.  so he gave hom a high five and grabbed his goody bag and ran!

i asked them what they asked santa for.  emma said she told him she was thinking about it.  alex said a DS.  man.  christmas is going to be disappointing, i'm afraid.

progress reports

hmm, let's see how the kids are doing in school.  1st up, emma!

our little worry wort.  before she even got it out of her back pack, she said "i got all smiley faces except for the other.  i want all smiley faces."  so troy looked at it, and said "just try to do better next time, emma."  and she was staring at the floor, pouting, and started to protest and i told her he was teasing her.  and i suggested we write whining in the space next to it, so she could get a smiley face since she's pretty good at it.  ha ha.

ok, alex is next.

whaaaat?!  he likes to do things his way?!  has a hard time following directions?  alex?  our alex?  i'm floored.  seriously, shocked.  actually, i think it's funny.  i fight that boy over everything.  down to his underwear or socks.  he wants to make every choice and will argue it until you are both in tears.  he wore shorts to school last week, and probably froze his butt off.  and told me later mrs. bunnell (vice principal) told him he couldn't wear shorts to school anymore, it was too cold.  and i said, huh, really?  isn't that what i said? 

anyways.  sawyer had his 15 mon. checkup friday.  he's grown an inch and gained a pound in 3 months.  he's doing great, although he was mad as hell when they called our name, because he was playing with a bead chaser in the waiting room and didn't want to leave it.  so he looked like this when we went back.

and he looked like that when we left, too, because he got three shots.  poor guy.  then today he fell outside and cut his lip, it's swollen and bled quite a bit.  i was in the shower, and he was playing with alex while troy kept an eye on them.  alex said he fell on this:

emma's shelter project from school. (isn't it cool?) i told them to put it outside for a fairy house.  and so i guess he cut his lip on those pokey bark pieces.  or something.  anyways. 

tonight we went to cousin will's 1st birthday party.  it was a blue valley rec center, and it was a gymnastics party - the kids had a blast!  pizza, cake, and trampolines?!  yes please.

happy birthday will!  thanks for the pizzas and fun!

hey!!

look at me!  posting twice in one month!  wowza!

last friday was emma and zach's check ups with a new doc - same practice, but our ped. retired.  we are now seeing dr. rawson, who is pretty awesome too.  emma's gained 5 pounds and grown 3 inches since last year!  and i'll have to get back to you on zach - the sheets are still in the car :)  both of them are happy and healthy.  alex was feeling a little left out, but i think he was glad to be left out when zach had to get a shot!

after their checkups, i took them to see puss in boots and it was so good.  i love those movies.  zach was a little squirrely towards the end - he really didn't even want to go to the movies.  but he didn't have a choice in it LOL.  sawyer stayed home - mom and dad came over to help watch him so troy and dad could get the door put on the cellar.  sawyer didn't want grandma to leave - i think it made her feel really good!

we had birthday dinner at bert's saturday, delicious, beef burgundy, rolls, grandma corn, and the kids had so much fun with their cousins.   troy got beer, i got starbucks, old navy, and panera gift cards - yay!  i see some yummy stuff in my future!

i am almost finished piecing a quilt top, hoping to take some in on wednesday to get them quilted!  i'd like to have some finished for christmas gifts this year.  we'll see!

november

man, it's been so long since i posted, i don't even know where to start.  the kids are crazy and great.  sawyer is babbling a lot, saying something like "this" and pointing at the cookie jar and candy bowl.  zach is loving school, and hops out of bed to get dressed at 6:30 on school days.  then, for 2 hours, he asks when are we going to leave?  can't we go yet?  alex is doing great at school, and emma is too.  parent teacher conferences went awesome.

they had fun with halloween this year.  emma was a snow princess, alex went as harry potter, zach was thor, and sawyer was a lion for about 5 minutes. 

halloween seemed to stretch on forever.  first the school carnival on the 21st.  then trunk or treat on the 29th.  then halloween at school, and halloween trick or treating.  they were really good about all their candy, though, and let me put the buckets up with no arguing.  they really haven't even asked for any of it.  well, except for zach.  man that kid has a sweet tooth!  

troy and i had fun too - we went as kenny rogers and dolly parton to jessi's party.  good times.

he's been working like crazy on getting the water stuff in.  he poured the cellar, and last weekend he stacked railroad ties for a retaining wall around the entrance.  he also rented a trencher and got that part mostly done.  it's pouring rain now, and there's even been 2 earthquake aftershocks!  weird.  i haven't felt either of them.  troy felt the first one though.

we got a new kitten - indiana jones - we're calling him indie.  he's wild, he's always attacking something.  like my "design wall" in my sewing area (a flannel backed tablecloth thumb tacked to the wall)  he keeps climbing up it.  he's loud and pretty cute.

hmm, what else is new.  emma asked me what it means when you flip the bird (well, she showed me, only she pointed it at the floor) and i explained it was really rude and not to do it.  she started to cry and said she did it to someone in kgtn last year!  and when i asked her where she saw it, it was nathan on the bus again.  sigh.

the kids wrestling starts soon for emma and alex.  zach's not old enough yet.  it's tues and thurs night for 1 1/2 hours thru march.  ugh.  but troy says he'll stop after work and bring them home, so i will just have to drop them off.  those days will be my running around days, i guess!  preschool then wrestling. 

we're going to go see puss in boots this friday night.  zach says he doesn't want to go - weird.  i'm sorta hoping he changes his mind, and sorta hoping he doesn't.  but i'm excited to go to the movies!  and i need to start christmas shopping.  i have clothes for the kids, and i think we'll see about getting a tv/dvd for the downstairs. 

all right, time to end this lame post.  here's a cute pic of sawyer and his favorite food, mac n cheese.

my mini bucket list

i've always thought of making my "bucket list", but since some of the things i want to try aren't exactly family friendly, i've never written them all down!  

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details. 

15 is a pretty manageable number though, so let's get on with it.  just don't hold me to any of them, mkay? 

1.  play frisbee golf
2.  watch back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back harry potter movies.
3. visit NYC
4.  sky dive
5.  run a 5K
6.  drive a corvette
7.  be on martha stewart's show
8.  learn to make yeast bread
9.  win a blue ribbon at the county fair

hmm.  this is harder than i thought!
10.  go to hawaii
11.  hot air balloon ride
12.  scuba dive
13.  pet a big cat - like a leopard or lion
14.  kareoke
15.  own my own blue moon

so fun!  maybe some day i can cross some of them off!

hello october!

wow - time sure flies!  zach turned four last saturday!

he had his birthday at school yesterday, complete with walmart power ranger cucpakes.  the frosting on those is like face paint.  i guess zach had it everywhere on his face.  i believe it.  he is a messy kid, no doubt.  our little pig pen.

we got a new kitten yesterday.  alex named him indiana jones.  we're calling him indie.

no pics of indie and emma because every time she tries to hold him, he claws her and she freaks.  this kitten's nails are sharp.  well, all kittens i suppose.  he's also very vocal.  great.  someone else to yammer at me.  we already have the old cat mod, who walks around saying mraaarh mraaarh mraaarh all the time.  now there's a new younger version.

yesterday i think sawyer thought it was a new toy, not a living thing.  he was so rough with him!  today i think the kitty scratched him, and now he's being a lot more cautious and gentle.  emma was so distracted this morning by the kitten that i had to help her get dressed, remind  her 8 times to brush her teeth, and basically hold her hand until she got on the bus.  she just wanted to stay home and play with the kitten.  alex was about as bad.  and he left for school today wearing a brown long sleeve cowboy shirt, black knit shorts, white socks and shoes.  i tried to get him to change his mind.  it really showed me that they are usually pretty self sufficient kids.  i can't wait until they get a little older and can start doing chores like laundry and dishes.  what age is that?  i don't want to miss it.

we are busy busy as usual.  this weekend is the kids' birthday party.  we're going to mason's football game, then pizza at a park.  emma wants doll crap craft kits and makeup for her birthday.  zach asked for a mario sweatshirt, mario swimming trunks, the Cars2 dvd, and pjs and a bathrobe.  i had gotten him a cap gun set, which he seemed to like.  this is probably the last birthday for him where i can run out last minute and pick up a gift at alco. because after he played with it for awhile, he said "where's the rest of my presents?"

friday troy and dad are pouring the concrete walls on the cellar.  that night emma is doing a cheer at the hs football game.  but she really really wants to wrestle, because jack has a thousand medals from it.  and she wants a thousand medals like him.  so, i guess she's going to wrestle alongside the boys.  crazy.